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Published on March 16, 2006 By dharmagrl In Home & Family

When I was a teenager, my mother used to come into my room and look at the posters of Duran Duran, the Psychedelic Furs, Flock Of Seagulls, Simple Minds, Spandau Ballet and The Clash and make disparaging remarks:

"he looks like he could use a bottle of shampoo and a comb"

"is he wearing MAKEUP???!!"

"what on earth's that he's wearing?  A bedsheet with holes cut in it?"

"I simply do not understand why it's necessary to dye your hair those colors.  It's really most undignified"

As Will Smith said, 'Parent's Just Don't Understand'. 

As I got older I swore that when I had kids I'd never be old fashioned and un-cool like my mother. Oh no, not I.  I was going to be the uber-trendy mom, the one who was hip and into the newest bands and who SET trends instead of following them.

I thought I was doing pretty well.  Until last night.

My daughter and I were in the BX getting her a hairdryer.  She asked if she could get a magazine, so we strolled over to the rack and she picked one out. 

"ooh, this is the best band ever!" she squealed, picking up a magazine with three boys wearing eyeliner on the cover "Panic At The Disco are AWESOME!!!!"

"they all look as if they could use a bottle of shampoo and a co.......oh my gawd.  I can't believe I said that.  I HAVE become my mother"

Yes, it's true.  I have succumbed to the middle age way of thinking.  I've criticized my teenage daughter's favorite band.  I'd best go break out the jeans with elasticated waists and tapered legs, to be worn with white tennis shoes and T-shirts with kittens or puppies on the front.  I should stop wearing make-up and start wearing my hair in a ponytail everyday, and I should sell my Explorer and get a minivan so that I can drive my kids to soccer practice and sit with the other moms talking about Tupperware and PTA meetings.  I should acquire a collection of holiday themed sweater vests and wear them over appropriately colored turtleneck sweaters - with the elastic waist jeans with the tapered legs and the white tennis shoes, of course.

It's happened.  I've become my mother.

Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 


Comments
on Mar 16, 2006
My condolences.

On the other hand, your mom must've been pretty cool (unless you've completely changed since last I read an article of yours).
on Mar 16, 2006
Even sons can become their mothers in some respects.

I was watching a news program and they were interviewing someone... and the words came out "Would it have killed him to run a comb though that hair?"

But it could have been my father too. Both wanted us to look presentable.

Although I hav enot said: "What did you do, get dressed in the dark?"

But i think that's coming as well.

IG


on Mar 16, 2006

I have to laugh as Trudy just left a remark on one of my articles about women becoming their mothers!

Now you prove it!

Trudy!  Oh Trudy!!!!  You are right!

on Mar 16, 2006
I haven't done it yet, but thanks for warning me! (I'm going to see my daughter's favorite band play tomorrow night, and she wants me to get the lead singer's autograph for her. hehehe.)
on Mar 16, 2006

On the other hand, your mom must've been pretty cool (unless you've completely changed since last I read an article of yours).

Aww, thank you!  Mum was alright...she was just older when she had me and was a bit sheltered herself.  She grew up in a tiny village in Oxfordshire, married her friend's brother (and only had one boyfriend before him) and was really the epitome of the '50's wife.  Her favorite movie was 'The Sound Of Music' and she wouldn't let me go anywhere after 9pm until I was 17!.  So, she wasn't as cool as I'm considered to be, but she was still a pretty groovy mom.

Although I hav enot said: "What did you do, get dressed in the dark?"

But i think that's coming as well

I think that my comment yesterday has opened the floodgates and soon I will be churning out all kinds of 'mum-isms'.  I only hope that people won't think less of me for it!

Oh, and my husband has used the 'dressed in the dark' phrase before.

I have to laugh as Trudy just left a remark on one of my articles about women becoming their mothers!
Now you prove it!

Well aint that a co-inky-dink!

 

Posted: Thursday, March 16, 2006
I haven't done it yet, but thanks for warning me! (I'm going to see my daughter's favorite band play tomorrow night, and she wants me to get the lead singer's autograph for her. hehehe

See, you're a cool mom, going to see a band like that.  It's given me an idea, actually....I'm going to take Shea to a concert!

on Mar 16, 2006

I have to laugh as Trudy just left a remark on one of my articles about women becoming their mothers!
Now you prove it!

Well aint that a co-inky-dink!

It happens!  it's an age-old happening!  I did it too   turned into my mother one day, out of the blue.

and when I tried to explain it to my older sister,  she had NO clue what I meant.  Heck,  she became our our mother so early in life she never knew it when it happened!

There's still time Dharma, you can still rescue yourself!  I tried to,  I refused to wear sweatshirts with glittery puppies, kittens.  Although I DID wear a sweatshirt with a teddybear on it.....

on Mar 16, 2006
I think I am turning into my dad more than my mom. I use phrases my dad did, I catch myself doing crosswords, and I often drive right by where I was intending to go. I am very laid back like my dad. I would probably benefit by becoming a bit more like my mom. She is a Jack of all trades and an instigator. I am neither.

I asked Alex if I am like Nana and he said "Well, you're creative like Nana but you're more like Papa." I love that kid. He always knows what to say and how to say it.

I'm with pseudo, your mom can't be too bad if you are like her.
on Mar 16, 2006
Sometimes I feel like I take after both but more like my dad. My Dad is blunt and to the point and my mom is much more of a diplomat. Ya, I'm my Dad.

You know you've become like your mom (or dad) when your finger comes out and the kid's back is up against the wall.

on Mar 16, 2006
That is so funny Dharma. You forgot about the pins. My mom had pins from Hallmark for every holiday. And earrings and necklaces. Too funny. Where do mom's even find those sweaters. I know I never see them at the stores I go to. BTW, I LOVE panic at the disco and just wrote an article about it. but I still find myself saying weird mom things like - turn that music down or shut the door. ahhhh! who said that? Did that come out of my mouth? I guess I need to shop for elastic wasted jeans too. I crashed my minivan so that solved that problem. How un-momlike is that? BTW, I saw the cutest earrings on ebay that are made from guitar picks. I bet your daugher would love them.
on Mar 17, 2006

I probably am more like my Mom than my Dad, but quite different than both.  The only phrase that I use that my parents do (well, "parent" type phrase) when talking to my daughter is: "what, were you raised in a barn?" when she does something nasty (typically said after a loud belch that she laughs at...which is actually funny if she saw how "girly" my daughter is).  Of course, her response to that question is usually "mooooooo".

I've always dressed differently than well....most people I know, especially when considering my shoe collection, so I doubt that I will ever dress like my Mom.  I'm also the household computer geek, so I doubt that I'll get too far behind the latest trends.  I'm sure, no matter what I do, I'll be totally "uncool" when my daughter is a teen, though.

on Mar 18, 2006
Hey! Don't make too much fun of those of us who do wear our hair in a ponytail and drive a minivan! Although I will DIE before I wear elastic band jeans and dress my family in matching "cute" holiday outfits.

I think I have become a fuddy-duddy housewife though....I got all happy last week after I got my carpets cleaned. I must be lame if that makes my day.

Sigh. Maybe if i get a tattoo.......
on Mar 19, 2006

There's still time Dharma, you can still rescue yourself! I tried to, I refused to wear sweatshirts with glittery puppies, kittens. Although I DID wear a sweatshirt with a teddybear on it.....

I'm going to resist with everything I have in me, Trudy.  I WILL NEVER wear sweatshirts with puppies and kitties on them.  NEVER!!!

I think I am turning into my dad more than my mom. I use phrases my dad did, I catch myself doing crosswords, and I often drive right by where I was intending to go. I am very laid back like my dad.

Oh, I'm a lot like my dad too.  You know, it's funny - they're not my biological parents, but I'm a LOTY like them; so much so that people who don't know us very well comment on it.  Just goes to show that sometimes it's the nurture that matters, not the nature.

If you're a lot like your dad, Jill....then he would be quite the man to meet and get to know, I think.

 

You know you've become like your mom (or dad) when your finger comes out and the kid's back is up against the wall

I do that.  Often.  I also yell.  My dad had a very loud bark but he rarely bit.

You forgot about the pins. My mom had pins from Hallmark for every holiday. And earrings and necklaces. Too funny. Where do mom's even find those sweaters. I know I never see them at the stores I go to

That's right! I forgot all about those pins and earrings - to be worn with the vests, of course!  I see those vests all the time in the thrift store, and they never seem to stay on the shelves for very long....so SOMEONE's buying them!

Shea and I are making our own guitar pick earrings and bracelets next weekend - and she's stoked about it!

 

I've always dressed differently than well....most people I know

Me too!  My husband looks at me sometimes and asks me if I'm really going out in that...but oddly enough, people I don't know will compliment me on my style and ask me where I got my clothes at.  It happens a lot now that I'm wearing stuff I've made myself.  Speaking of which....do you like neutral and earth tones, Karma?

 

I'm sure, no matter what I do, I'll be totally "uncool" when my daughter is a teen, though

Nah.  I think you're a lot like me, and I also think that our girls are a lot alike....and Shea tells me often that I'm a cool mom and all her friends tell her that they wish I was their mom.  So, I think you'll be considered a 'cool' mom too.

 

Hey! Don't make too much fun of those of us who do wear our hair in a ponytail and drive a minivan!

I didn't mean, you silly!  You're cool - you teach yoga and have a sense of style.  I was talking about women who are stuck in the 80's with the feathered mullets and bad perms and Reebok high-top sneakers and who tuck and roll the bottom of their jeans to make them even more tapered.

Although I will DIE before I wear elastic band jeans and dress my family in matching "cute" holiday outfits.

See?  You're fine.  You don't need a tattoo to be cool, you already are. 

on Mar 20, 2006
If you're a lot like your dad, Jill....then he would be quite the man to meet and get to know, I think.


Thanks dharma! My dad has lived an interesting life. I think he is way more interesting to talk to than I am. My dad is kind of like me plus the political and historical knowledge of Brad. But one of the first things most people say about him when they meet him is that he seems like a happy guy. That is the part that I am truly thankful I am like.

I WILL NEVER wear sweatshirts with puppies and kitties on them. NEVER!!!


I'm with ya there!

That's right! I forgot all about those pins and earrings - to be worn with the vests, of course! I see those vests all the time in the thrift store, and they never seem to stay on the shelves for very long....so SOMEONE's buying them!


That would be my mom-in-law!
on Mar 20, 2006
My dad is kind of like me plus the political and historical knowledge of Brad.


Wow. He sounds fantastic!


That would be my mom-in-law!


She's got one for every occasion, huh?

Dave used to complain about how I dressed. He said that he thought I should dress a little more....conservatively. So, I went to the thrift store with $10 in my hand and came back with an outfit that was waaay more conservative than I usually wear. It was a pair of high waisted, tapered leg jeans, an orange turtleneck, and a halloween themed sweater vest with black cats and jack-o-lanterns and purple spiders on it. I wore it to greet him when he came home from work one day....

...and he hasn't complained about my sense of style since.



on Mar 20, 2006
I wore it to greet him when he came home from work one day....

...and he hasn't complained about my sense of style since.


He was asking for that wasn't he. I say you gotta be you. If you aren't comfortable with yourself, even the 'nicest' outfit won't look good. Have you ever seen women who are wearing beautiful evening gowns but just don't pull it off because of how uncomfortable they look? I notice that all the time.

You have the attitude and presence to pull off purple hair and black leather. I bet you would look as silly in "mommy jeans" and a "puppy sweatshirt" as those ladies would look in your combat boots, low ride jeans and funky tank tops.

I still dress a lot like I did in college. I wear jeans and college sweatshirts a lot. I like hoodies and denim shirts a lot too. I stick my hair in a pony tail on days that I don't get up early enough to shower or if I'm just having a bad hair day.

I can't believe I will be 36 in July! I don't feel like it at all. It sounds old to me but I don't feel old. Good thing since I'm having another baby!