Okay, I've had enough

Published on March 6, 2006 By dharmagrl In Health & Medicine

In the past year I've gained 20 lbs. I've gone from 123 to 143, and whilst some of the weight gain was needed (I looked a little gaunt at 120-ish) and I got my curves back, I now feel like I've gained too much.

None of my pants fit. I went and bought new ones when I gained weight, and now they don't fit. A juniors size 11 is snug on me, and I don't like it. I liked being soft and womanly looking, but I don't like that my belly jiggles when I walk and I also don't like that I look VERY wide in the hips when I wear jeans.

Besides, I think it's adversly affecting my health. My joints hurt. I'm going to see the doc in an hour or so, actually - my knees, fingers, toes and ankles are all swollen and incredibly painful and have been so for a couple of weeks. I've also been running a slight fever on and off and have been tired - so tired that I feel the need to take an afternoon nap a few times a week. Something's not right with me, I can feel it.

I've had enough of being what I consider to be chubby (The odd thing is that if someone I knew told me they were chubby when they weighed as much as I do, I'd tell them they were insane. It's different when it's your own body and weight). I want my jeans to fit again; I want to be able to wear a bikini this summer at the pool and not feel like a beached whale. I want to drop 10lbs by summer.

If I can get this joint pain and swelling issue under control, I'm going to start a budokon program. It's a combination of yoga and martial arts, and I got a set of dvd's for it last month that I've been meaning to start but never have. However, the self-dislike I'm currently feeling is strong enough to make me want to start this as soon as I can - I'd start today if I could bear to stand and walk for very long. Unfortunately, my toes and ankles and kees aren't having any of it; they protest loudly whenever I take even a single step so budokon is out for today.

I'm not going to take pills and chemicals in order to lose weight. I'm just going to watch what I eat. I'm cutting back on sugars and fats, and I'm going to make sure I don't snack in the evenings. No food for me after 6pm, period. I'm going to get a diet scale (you can get them for $3 from WalMart) and I'm going to weigh what i eat - portion control, in other words. Until I get this joint pain figured out and under control, I can't pick up the exercise, but once I can....I'm going to pick up the yoga and do it or budokon every day.

I've had enough of feeling chubby, and I'm going to do something about it.

Comments

Tova7

on Mar 06, 2006

Good on ya!

I know what you mean about size and weight being diff for people...I am a smidge under 5'5"...I feel best at 124-127...and it looks good too...or at least my clothes fit.

But I went to a dietitian some years back, she measured my wrists and told me I was considered "small framed" and my max weight should be 119 pounds. I can do 119 if I want to do it...but I am WEAK at that weight. I feel like if I miss a meal I will faint.

But we all wear weight different. I know women who are shorter than me, weigh more than I do, and look THINNER all over.

Course I don't wear tight clothes, ever. That does make a diff.

Anyway, good luck.

foreverserenity

on Mar 06, 2006

Good luck Dharma! I know the feeling and I'm fighting the battle right now, or at least, like you, I've come to the realization that enough is enough for me too because I'm tired of seeing my fat behind!

Now it's time to do something about it as well. It's hard work and when you're very busy or too ill to really do it, makes it even harder. I wish you luck though and "hear" the determination and know you will succeed.

HC1240

on Mar 06, 2006

I hear ya. It's the reflection in the mirror that motivates me. I'd be thrilled to be 130, but I can handle myself until I get to a certain point and the woman staring back at me just isn't someone I ever envisioned being. It doesn't matter that other women are larger, or weigh more... it's about how *I* feel... about ME.

Good luck with your new system. I hope you really enjoy and keep going back at it for more. Praying you feel better soon, too. (((((((((((((K)))))))))))))))))

alison watkins

on Mar 06, 2006

Hey stranger! Long time, no blog.....

Anyways, I totally hear you on the whole weight thing. On my wedding day I weighed 130ish....which is what I consider healthy for me...give or take a pound or two. This past new years I got on the scale and was up to 141. So much for the diet I loved so much in Oct! hehe. Like you, I was frusturated so I decided to really start to watch what I ate. I cut out all the bad food that NY makes so good...no pizza, no gyros, no ice cream. I also cut out bad carbs like white bread and white pasta. I also started jumping rope and doing push ups. As of today, I'm down 10 lbs. Whoohoo!

Best wishes on the plan! I'm sure you are lovely anyways, but I totally know how you feel.

Moderateman

on Mar 06, 2006

I have a wonderfull D.O.M. way for you to lose weight fast want to find out how?

dharmagrl

on Mar 07, 2006

I'm supposedly samll framed as well, and my ideal weight is 110 or some crazy number like that. I've been 110 or under twice in my life, and both times people I loved told me that I looked skeletal. I feel my best at 130, and I look my best at about 135. Doing the job that I used to do and doing yoga and swimming like I used to gave me more muscle mass than a lot of chicks, so I can weigh 130 but wear a size 6 comfortably.

My husband LOVES me this size. I think it's because I'm all tits and ass and softness! I do feel like a bit of a goddess now, to be honest, all womanly and curvy.

like you, I've come to the realization that enough is enough for me too because I'm tired of seeing my fat behind!

Yeah, that's why spurred me to lose a few pounds...the sight of my wide rear end!

It doesn't matter that other women are larger, or weigh more... it's about how *I* feel... about ME.

Exactly, chickie. It's not what other people think, it's about YOU.

On my wedding day I weighed 130ish....which is what I consider healthy for me...give or take a pound or two. This past new years I got on the scale and was up to 141. So much for the diet I loved so much in Oct! hehe. Like you, I was frusturated so I decided to really start to watch what I ate. I cut out all the bad food that NY makes so good...no pizza, no gyros, no ice cream. I also cut out bad carbs like white bread and white pasta. I also started jumping rope and doing push ups. As of today, I'm down 10 lbs. Whoohoo!

Well done you! I'd LOVE to be able to work out properly again. Right now, I'm worn out just from doing a little bit of yoga. But, that's better than nothing.

How's teaching going, anyway? And married life? That still alright?

I have a wonderfull D.O.M. way for you to lose weight fast want to find out how?

Umm....I'm probably going to regret saying this, but yeah - I do want to know.

Moderateman

on Mar 07, 2006

Reply By: dharmagrlPosted: Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I have a wonderfull D.O.M. way for you to lose weight fast want to find out how?Umm....I'm probably going to regret saying this, but yeah - I do want to know.

ok you get a large peice of card board, on it you print in big letters, if you can catch me you can boink me, you take off all yer clothes and run outside carrying the sign. you will lose weight running for your life and virtue. heh

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