Everybody poos

But where do you do it?

Published on March 3, 2006 By dharmagrl In Misc

*kudos to NickyG for the inspiration for this article*

Despite what we would like everyone to believe, everybody poos. Everyone. From the Queen of England to the bum on the corner, celebrities and rednecks and nouveau riche alike - we all poo.

The question is, where do you poo? Some people can poo anywhere. Public restroom, neighbor's bathroom, hole in the woods...some folks aren't fussy poo-ers. They think nothing of dropping trou and going whenever they have to.

Then you have people like me. Unless it's an emergency, I can't poo in a public bathroom. I just can't. I'm paranoid about people hearing the splashing as the turds hit the water or hearing my gas resonating around the bowl and the stall. I'm worried that people will smell the accompanying stench and will know that it's me that's made it. I've been known to cough loudly to try and cover the sound and have actually waited until everyone else left the bathroom before exiting the stall so I won't have people pointing at me in the store/restaurant and yelling 'that's the girl who's shit really DOES stink!!' as I'm going about my business.

Nope, unless I have a bad case of the trots and absolutely CANNOT wait until I get home, I don't poo outside of the comfort of my own bathroom. I like the feel of the familiar toilet seat, I can close the door and I have my books and magazine racks and wet wipes (anyone else use those charmin or cottonelle wipes? and my nice soft toilet paper...and everything comes out just fine.

What about you, JU? Can you poo anywhere you go? Or are you like me and can't 'go' anywhere but your own bathroom...and if you are, why?

Comments

BlueDev

on Mar 03, 2006

I can poo anywhere. I don't like to, but I have had some emergencies that have taught me that when I have to go, well, I just have to go. It is also one of the lingering side effects of my amoebas and such.

Yeah, too much information. I know.

MarcieMoo

on Mar 04, 2006

I'm with BD. I'd much rather poo in my own bathroom (usually). But sometimes when my tummy starts hurting there's only one way to relieve it. Which is the problem with being a teacher...sometimes I'll eat something that doesn't agree with me and I don't have any "time off" after lunch...so then I have to find someone to watch the kiddos for a minute while I run to the loo.

Even in my own house sometimes I don't like to. I don't mind being musical, but if Ryan's home, I don't want him to hear it. And we don't have a noisy exhaust fan and the door's not really that thick, so you can hear the music fairly readily throughout the living area...

Poop.

Dr Guy

on Mar 04, 2006

OMG! I never thought of the splash!

In Germany, they have a cliche. Wohin jeder Kaiser zu fuss gehen muss. It means where every king must go on foot!

And here I thought it was Bluedev's article that inspired you!

But regardless of the sound effects, if I gotta go, a public stall is fine with me.

MasonM

on Mar 04, 2006

As a trucker, and someone with IBS, I can't afford to be too choosy about where I do my business. As long as there's paper and a clean seat, I'm a happy camper. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant when it comes to such biological imperatives.

Cordelia

on Mar 04, 2006

What a hilarious article!

For me, unless it's an emergency I need to be at home.

MarcieMoo

on Mar 04, 2006

So...to make an umbrella statement here, usually home is where the crap is?

lifehappens

on Mar 05, 2006

After years in the army.....and living in Bosnia with portapotties....nothing fazes me anymore. But if it already smells really bad or is abhoringly nasty....I will find somewhere else...

Although, i have to admit, I have never seen a portapottie so clean before I went to Bosnia. The guys would clean them 3-4 times a day to prove they were the best...competition for gov. jobs was pretty fierce.

Evorg

on Mar 05, 2006

I suppose the most interesting place was in Tunisia. There’s a hole in the ground and outlines where you put your feet. Then you get to play bomber pilot.

Locamama

on Mar 05, 2006

I prefer to go at home but if I'm out and have to go so be it. I do have a complex about this issue. This is a regular recurring nightmare for me that I have to go in front of other people. I would just die.

When I was a kid we went on a field trip to the local jail (yeah, don't really know what that was all about) but just seeing that toilet in the cell with no door. I knew I could never be a criminal from that moment on. My life of high adventure as a world-class jewel and art thief was averted.

shadesofgrey

on Mar 05, 2006

I knew I could never be a criminal from that moment on. My life of high adventure as a world-class jewel and art thief was averted.

Wow, that was one successful field trip. Maybe we should make it a requirement at all elementary schools!

As for me--I've got no hang up with this issue (plently of other hang ups that make up for it though!).

Caracarn1

on Mar 06, 2006

Depends hehe, you see what I did there?

Locamama

on Mar 06, 2006

Depends hehe, you see what I did there?

cute. lol.

just john

on Mar 06, 2006

I'm an at home sort of guy. I don't mind 'giving at the office' but I will definately try to make it at a less popular time (i.e. after all of the coffee drinkers have made their morning sprints to take a leak - the old guys around my office are like clock work, I am pretty sure clocks around the world are based on their bathroom schedule).

Funny though, when I am camping, I can drop and go just about anywhere. I must have some bear in me.

Trudygolightly

on Mar 06, 2006

holy cow! some pretty relaxed types here! not that I'm anal retentive or anything.......

I just HAVE to be at home, or in a bathroom where's a fan and thick doors! our bathroom has a fan, and I THOUGHT that meant that no one could possibly hear me, so when the landlord came calling one day, I figured he couldn't hear me in the loo, so I, well.....................later I found out just how thin these doors are.

wahhhhhhhhh I need my privacy!

Dr Guy

on Mar 07, 2006

not that I'm anal retentive or anything.......

*Groan*

That was a good (bad) pun!

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!