I'm done with hospice training.  Once my background check comes back I'll be assigned a patient and will begin helping people die.

But I won't be able to talk about it.  At all.  Confidentiality rules prevent me from talking about anything here.  I can't even talk about events without mentioning names...the only thing I can tell anyone is that my patient died (when the time comes). 

It's going to be hard, not talking about it.  My blog is like my journal; all the important stuff that happens to me finds it's way into my blog.  For me to not talk about it....that's going to be tough.  But, I'll respect my patient's wishes.  My aim there is to help them maintain some dignity and blogging about it...well, I don't think that they'd want the details of  their last moments on the internet for everyone to see.  So, I won't write about it here.  If I write at all it'll be in handwriting, in my journal that I keep at home.  The only person that reads it is me - and sometimes my husband if there's something in there that I want him to read. 

I like journaling.  If I'm assigned to a patient who's still lucid I'm going to encourage them to keep a journal.  If they can't write, I'll write for them....or I can even record their voices and type it up for them.  It might be not only a good way for them to express and work throught their thoughts and fears, but it would also be a wonderful memento for their families.

There's something else I can't talk about too:  a few weeks ago I promised that the gag would come opff and that I'd talk about the case I got involved in at the legal office last year.  It was coming to court martial, and once it had been adjudged I'd be able to tell you what it was all about.

That's not going to happen, not for a while anyway.  A pre-trial agreement was made before courts martial; the accused's defense had made a deal with the prosecution and he was going to wave his right to trial with a jury of his peers and have his case heard by a judge alone.

He got scared.  I personally think that the reality of it all finally sank in and he realised exactly what was going to happen....that he'd lose not only rank but face too, and he simply couldn't stand for that to happen.  So, he withdrew his guilty pleas and now is going to trial in front of a jury of his peers. I think it's a bad move....because the pre-trial agreement is off the table the prosecution can ask for the maximum penalties for ALL of the charges.  He stands to lose EVERYTHING, retirement, properties, vehicles....EVERYTHING.  I think he's relying on the 'good ol' boy' network - because he's a senior NCO he's going to have people of the same rank sit on the jury, and senior NCO's tend to stick together, especially ones of his rank - and I think it's going to be his undoing.  Yes, senior NCO's stick together, but not if you've done something to bring disgrace upon the rank - which this guy has - or is being chraged with, anyway.  I can't say that he HAS until after he's been found guilty by a jury of his peers. But, he's being court martialed, and that in itself is disgraceful for someone of his rank.

So, I can't talk about that either.  Not until after the trial, and I don't know when that will be.  So, until then, JU, you'll be treated to articles about knitting and kids and stuff.

Sorry!