Good for you, dharma.

I think it would take a very centered, selfless person to give of themselves in such an important but unglamorous way. I hope this journey brings you much fulfillment, and I hope that you are able to provide love, comfort, joy, and peace to those in your care.

You have so much purpose Karen but I am glad that you feel that this will bring even more. You are such a kind, giving person. I am sure you will touch many families in very deep, important ways. You will not only be helping people die in peace with dignity but also help the families let go of their loved one with as much ease as possible.

I am thankful their are people like you in the world.

Tex: That's what I hope to do too. If I can make a difference to someone's last days; if I can make a family who is facing the death of a loved one any easier...that will be my reward. I don't want fanfare or pomp, I just want to know that I made a difference.

Jill: thank you for the kind words. I know that my life has purpose already, after all I'm raising kids and supporting the US military! I just felt a little lost as to what I'm supposed to do outside of my family and home life. After the accident I felt like I was meat to be here, that I was spared and given a second chance for a reason....and I think I know that reason now. My husband says that I'm incorporating my love of people with my morbid streak in doing this....I say that it's not a morbid streak, I'm just not afraid to talk about death and dying, and this will give me an opportunity to practice the compassion I'm always talking about.

MM cannot pass this up.

If you promise to wear a nursie outfit with white stockings I am ready to practice dieing, now!

no no really, good for you D, we all die alone , but you will make sure they are not lonely at the end.

xoxo to you!

MM...you sir, are the dirtiest of dirty old men! LOL Funnily enough, one of the patients asked for a 'busty' volunteer to be around them for their last days, and the coordinator found a volunteer with the biggest boobs and told her to have at it with her low cut tops and push-up bras! So, I think that if someone asked me to wear a naughty nurse uniform for them....that as long as it wasn't showing places that only my doctor and my husband should see, I'd be happy to wear it. We're all about making people's last days happy, MM. We're allowed to take cigarettes and beer to our patients if that's what they want. We usually ask people if they have any wishes that we might be able to facilitate....and if we can, we make them come true. I have an article about it brewing, when JU's back up I'll post it.

The hospice policy is that nobody should die alone, unaccompanied. So, one of my functions is going to be acting as a 'vigilance' volunteer: I'll get the call that someone is on their way out and I'll go sit with them. It doesn't matter whether they're conscious or aware or not, I'll still be there, holding their hand and talking quietly to them. I know that dying is something they have to do by themselves, but I'm going to be there for as many stages of the journey as I can.

It's going to be a hard thing to do, MM. But I think it'll be worth it.

This is an amazing task you are taking on. I don't know one person who has used hospice that has been sorry. I always hear how wonderful the help was and that families couldn't have done it without it, or at least in a dignified manner.

An earthly angel is what you will be.

#5 by dharmagrl Friday, February 24, 2006

We usually ask people if they have any wishes that we might be able to facilitate

whew!!! for a second I thought I saw fellatio instead of facilitate.

MM the most moderate of dirty old men.

whew!!! for a second I thought I saw fellatio instead of facilitate. MM the most moderate of dirty old men.

MM, that would be a last wish you would ask her to facilitate wouldn't it

My friend's last wish was to fly out of Selfridge (she was in the Air National Guard) on last time but was too sick to fly. That was pretty heart breaking. But she was in a beautiful hospice home with friends and family around.

I think the policy of not letting anyone die alone is absolutely wonderful.

You are awesome Karen. Just make sure that you take care of you through this. Losing yourself in service is a great thing, losing your sense of self is another. You know you can always call and talk to me if you need a dry shoulder and (semi) clean ear to vent on... and you also know I'm not the only one here for you.

We're allowed to take cigarettes and beer to our patients if that's what they want.

It's not like these things are going to kill them! ;~D

They are pretty much at the ultimate point of "There is none so free as he who has nothing left to lose". ;~D

I am going to be helping people ease their way out of this world. I'm going to be there when they take their last breath, when their hearts stop beating and when their soul flies free of the meat overcoat it's been inhabiting for the last few decades.

If there is a heaven or a next world, these people will be thankful.

If there is not, you make their last minutes more meaningful to them.

It is said that the best good deed is one that goes unrewarded. What you intend to do is, in my opinion, even better. It cannot even be rewarded by those you help.

I have not met many really good people. Perhaps you are among their small number?

MM the most moderate of dirty old men

Yes, you are!

I think the policy of not letting anyone die alone is absolutely wonderful

I like it too. I think that it's one of the most compassionate things a human being can do for another human...to sit with them when they're leaving this life. Like I said, the act of dying is something that you have to do by yourself.....but I'm going to make sure that I'm there to keep you company as far as I can.

Just make sure that you take care of you through this. Losing yourself in service is a great thing, losing your sense of self is another. You know you can always call and talk to me if you need a dry shoulder and (semi) clean ear to vent on... and you also know I'm not the only one here for you.

Thanks, Ted. During the training they told us that the bereavement services the hospice offers aren't jusdt for the patients and their families, they're for us too. So, between them and y'all...well I have a bunch of shoulders lined up!

I know that this isn't going to be easy. I know that it's going to be ugly at times and I know that people don't change because they're dying - folks that were misery guts in life will maintain their personalities through the death process; they're not going to be all sunshine and light because they're at the end of their days. I know that death isn't as nice as it's protrayed on TV - matter of fact, we talked about the sounds and smells that people make as they're getting closer to death and we're warned that some of it can be scary and/or gross. It just spurred me to want to be there for people even more.

It is said that the best good deed is one that goes unrewarded. What you intend to do is, in my opinion, even better. It cannot even be rewarded by those you help. I have not met many really good people. Perhaps you are among their small number?

I don't think that I'm 'really' good. The other day someone described our training class as 'angels'. I said that I'd take the description of 'angel', but I wasn't a glowing angel with snow white wings.....naw, I'm an angel with scabby knees, a dirty face, tatty robes and grubby wings that moult feathers everywhere I go. Yes, there's probably some good in me, but you have to get past my ego and my sarcasm to find it.

Thanks for the thought, though!

Do you remember the scene in Wit, long after the lady had lost consciousness, the nurse remained behind after helping the doctor with a catheter insertion? He couldnt understand why she wanted to remain in the room, but when he left, she reached over and rubbed lotion on the woman's hands? I see you doing things like that. Yes, I can see it very clearly.

Yes, I do recall it, and funnily enough that's going to be one of the things I do for my patients. People underestimate the power of human touch, and I'm going to try and make a point of touching people - whether it's by massaging their hands and feet or simply holding their hands...no matter what their level of conciousness.

Thank you, S. You've given me more encouragement than you can imagine.