She's beautiful

Published on February 12, 2006 By dharmagrl In Home & Family

My daughter picked up her new glasses last night. She wore them home from the store and marvelled at how much she could see.

I had been worried about her not liking them, but this morning she sais "y'know Ma, the more I look at myself in these, the more I like myself in them".

I feel the same way. She's always been a pretty girl, but in the past year....she's blossomed, and when I see her wearing her new glasses I see the young woman she's becoming breaking through the little girl skin she's lived in for the past 13 years.

She's beautiful, she really is. I know I have mom goggles, but she truly is a good looking girl, and she's a truly nice person too. She wants to be a veterinarian, she happily told me the other day that she wants to see the world and that as soon as she's 18 she's going to be out of the house and spreading her wings ....and I didn't tell her but it almost broke my heart because I'm not ready for that to happen and I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that to happen. I don't want her to go. I want to keep her close...... I find myself feeling more and more protective of her; I see guys on the horizon and I don't like the way they look at her and I want to rip their eyes out of their heads for looking at her that way. Is that normal? Is it normal to want her to be worldly and prepared for the tilted playing field of life but at the same time want her to retain some of her innocence? Is it normal to want her to dress nicely and make the most of her looks but want to smack around the first guy who turns his head to watch her walk past? I hope so. Because if it's not, I'm in need of some serious therapy and possibly medication.

She's beautiful. She truly is. I'm proud to be her mother. No matter where she goes or what she does she'll always be my daughter, and I will always be proud of her.

I have a feeling that young lady is going to make quite something out of the life she's been given. What more could a parent ask for?

Comments (Page 1)

Furry Canary

on Feb 12, 2006

'I see guys on the horizon and I don't like the way they look at her and I want to rip their eyes out of their heads for looking at her that way. Is that normal?'
Hell yes. Our little Daisy is only ten months old but I have long since developed a scarily primeval instinct to protect her no matter what. As I say to my wife, 'Our job as parents is to raise her in such a way that she is best equipped to live without us. Some time from now, upon seeing her successfully (touch wood) fly the nest, we shall know that we did our duty in that regard. But that's still a long way away - in the meantime, I have no intention of letting her out of my sight until she's - ooh, forty or thereabouts!'

terpfan1980

on Feb 12, 2006

Just pray that in her future she winds up with someone that respects her the way you'd want, and enjoy the time with her now as much as you can. I worry much about my youngest too. I know I'm gonna wind up like Al Bundy taking out the 'trash' that was there for his daughter Kelly. I'm gonna konk heads up side walls and toss out the stream of potential 'suitors' that line up to take away my little girl. I'm gonna delay it as long as possible, but it'll eventually be something I don't have control over.

I hope in the meantime that her mom and I raise her well, and leave her without self esteem to know that she deserves a lot of respect and shouldn't settle for anything. Like you, we want our daughter to aim high and take on the world if that is what she wants.

As she keeps getting closer to an age when I know'll really be worrying, I can't help but be driven to babbling tears when I hear songs like Butterfly Kisses and other such tunes on the radio. Those daddy's little girl songs just hit the wrong notes for me and leave me worried about time that passes much more quickly than I might hope for.

So again, enjoy the time while they're young, and don't hesitate to tell her how beautiful she is to you.

crimson

on Feb 12, 2006

when I see her wearing her new glasses I see the young woman she's becoming breaking through the little girl skin she's lived in for the past 13 years.

Isn't it a bit scary when you can see that? Once in awhile, if Kole turns a certain way, or if I catch myself looking at her when she's unaware, I can definitely picture what she'll be like when she's older. Not just looks either, but I can definitely see how her strong traits are going to reflect in the woman that she's growing to become.

she happily told me the other day that she wants to see the world and that as soon as she's 18 she's going to be out of the house and spreading her wings

Kole told me she plans on living with me forever.

Locamama

on Feb 12, 2006

I think it would be hard to have a teenage daughter. I guess I am spared this since I have all boys but I'm trying to teach them that woman are more than their body parts. I wish my mom had talked more to me about self respect and the difference between a boy who really likes you and a guy who just wants what he can get from you. I always ended up hurt because I thought all of them really liked me and was shocked when they disappeared when I didn't "put out". I learned the hard way. She's lucky to have you because I am sure that you are the kind of mom she can talk to. I could never talk to my mom.

dharmagrl

on Feb 12, 2006

Hell yes. Our little Daisy is only ten months old but I have long since developed a scarily primeval instinct to protect her no matter what.

Isn't that freaky how it just overwhelms you? How all of a sudden you've got the urge to die for your child if need be?

Your Daisy is so cute, I'm not surprised that you feel that way!

Just pray that in her future she winds up with someone that respects her the way you'd want, and enjoy the time with her now as much as you can

I'm trying to instil in her a sense of self worth and self respect so that she'll know when a guy's being an eejit and is after one thing. She's taken to it really quite well!

Me too. It's not just about looks, I can see what kind of a person she'll be, how she'll handle herself. It's freaky, but at the same time it's awesome.

Kole told me she plans on living with me forever.

Awww! I think I'd want your Kole to live with me forever too....she's such a little sweetie.

I always ended up hurt because I thought all of them really liked me and was shocked when they disappeared when I didn't "put out".

That was how I started out too. Unfortunately I was hanging around with a girl who DID put out and who encouraged me to do the same.....so I ended up doing some things I wish I hadn't. But, I came to my senses eventually and found some new friends to hang around with.....but it still sucked getting my ego bruised so early in life. That's why I'm trying to prepare Shea for things like that - but it's hard because the older she gets, the more we talk, and I can almost see her innocence dwindling away.

I could never talk to my mom.

Neither could I, and I swore I wouldn't be that way with my kids. We're a very open family, we talk about everything. For example, when Shea got her first period, the boys asked what was going on and we told them. When I first asked what periods were, my mom gave me a book to read. We never discussed it, we never talked about it, she just gave me a book and told me to read it and that was that.

I refuse to do that to my kids.

BlueDev

on Feb 12, 2006

She sounds like quite the remarkable young lady Dharma.

dharmagrl

on Feb 12, 2006

She sounds like quite the remarkable young lady Dharma

She is. She really is. She never ceases to amaze me - not always in a positive way, mind you, she messes up sometimes.....but she's really quite something.

Here she is in her new specs:

She's playing ps2 and I couldn't drag her away from it for too long....I'll get a better one this week.

JillUser

on Feb 12, 2006

Those are really cool specs! Like I said, I was one who wished I could have glasses. I was weird that way but then again, people with straight hair want curls, brunettes want to be blonde, etc. Teaching her to appreciate who she is and embracing what she has rather than wishing she had something different will take her far.

I am kind of afraid of the thought of possible having a daughter. Girls are much more complicated. My boys, for instance, will wear pretty much anything as long as it fits, isn't itchy and isn't a girlie color. My neighbor girls and niece on the other hand have constant drama over what to wear. And that is the least of your worries as far as girls go!

Tell her "Auntie Jill" says I love the specs and wish I had her hairl

Texas Wahine

on Feb 12, 2006

Those are a adorable glasses. Very cool.

And is that a My Chemical Romance t-shirt? I'm jealous.

Dharma, I think it's wonderful that you are so purposeful in the way you raise her. So many parents simply react to their children, rather than actually considering the the personality and goals of their child and the values and traits they want to help their child cultivate and then discovering ways to bring that all together. I'm impressed.

crimson

on Feb 12, 2006

Those glasses rock. I've been looking for a new pair and I'm definitely going to try some like those on and see if they suit me.

dharmagrl

on Feb 12, 2006

I am kind of afraid of the thought of possible having a daughter. Girls are much more complicated

I got lucky; Shea's not been that difficult. I know some other women who didn't get that lucky and had daughters who were more picky about stuff - my friend Wanda, for example. Her little girl, Morgan, won't wear anything that isn't pink. It HAS to be pink, or she just refuses to wear it and has a cow if you try and make her. I've always let the kids wear what they want as long as it was seasonally appropriate, and I think that attitude has served me well because now they all dress pretty well (Dave would argue about that because he doesn't like some of their clothes, but I don't think they're that bad).

The only other difference I've noticed between boys and girls is the expression of anger. Boys will get mad, punch each other, and it's over. Girls, though......they tend to stew a little bit. Their anger simmers under the surface and they hold on to it for longer.

Tell her "Auntie Jill" says I love the specs and wish I had her hairl

I did, and she said thanks. She's very inpressed with you and your family, she asks how you're doing often.

And is that a My Chemical Romance t-shirt? I'm jealous.

Yes, it is. she bought it with her Christmas money and wears it a LOT. Like she'll come home from school, take the shirt off, wash it and dry it and wear it the next day. I think it'll be worn out by summer!

Dharma, I think it's wonderful that you are so purposeful in the way you raise her

Thanks! I'm just interested in her and who she's becoming. We talk about stuff all the time...politics and religion and ecology and philosophy...all kinds of stuff. I want her to be fully informed about life and everything that comes with it, and I'm trying to introduce these things to her in a way that will interest her. My folks, bless their little hearts, never did that to me and I was really green and uninformed when I left the house. I don't want her to do that.

I'm impressed

Thank you. That means a lot to me, coming from you.

Those glasses rock. I've been looking for a new pair and I'm definitely going to try some like those on and see if they suit me.

I think these would look good on you - I told Shea that if I had been shopping for glasses, those would have been the ones I chose as well.

Dr Guy

on Feb 13, 2006

It does not get any easier. Mine are 22 and 17. The older one is in a committed relationship. I still dont trust him tho.

But we do have to let them grow up. They cannot stay little girls forever.

dharmagrl

on Feb 13, 2006

But we do have to let them grow up. They cannot stay little girls forever

I know. When she was small, it seemed like I couldn't wait for her to get older. When she was a baby, I wanted her to walk and talk. When she was in diapers, I wanted her to use the potty. When she was in pre-school, I wanted her to be in Kindergarden. Now she's in Junior High, and I want it all to stop....I want her to not grow so fast, I want time to slow just a little so I can enjoy her a little longer. She really is a good girl, Dr G. She's smart - my god, that girl's smart - and she's polite and articulate and funny and is just a good person all around.

I'm trying to spend as much time with her as I can so that I'll have something to remember when she finally does flee the coop.

Furry Canary

on Feb 14, 2006

'But we do have to let them grow up. They cannot stay little girls forever.'
Of course, Dr, Guy. We would not be fulfilling our responsibility to prepare them for the outside world if we didn't let them grow up. However, when dharmagrl says 'I want her to not grow so fast, I want time to slow just a little so I can enjoy her a little longer', I agree too - and not only for my benefit, but for hers too. We live in a world /society in which, to me, the duration of childhood seems to be shrinking alarmingly. A friend of mine tells his 13 year old daughter, 'Slow down! The road to adulthood is a journey, not a race. Don't rush to the finish line, get involved in the scenery.' Two years ago, she loved classical music, fishing and frogs. Now she listens to pop on her iPod, and her major preoccupations are clothes and boys. He doesn't claim to be able to stop this, nor to have any desire to do so, nor that this would be in the slightest healthy - he seeks merely to encourage her to get the most out of her childhood while she has it. I think he has a point.

Dr Guy

on Feb 14, 2006

I think he has a point.

Yes he does. And I did not mean to imply not to let them grow up, only that we do regret it that time passes so quickly when it comes to our children. The only constant in a child's life is that there is no constant. When my first was born, I thought we would settle into a routine. Well, if 2 weeks can be considered a routine, we settled into a lot of them!

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!