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Published on January 20, 2006 By dharmagrl In Marriage

Tomorrow will mark the 12th anniversary of the day I changed my last name.

I wore a green velvet dress and flowers in my hair; he wore jeans and cowboy boots.

He said I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and carried me across the threshold of our little house.  I said that he was my 'One' and wept as he placed the ring on my finger.

Twelve years later, he's still my 'One'.  He still thinks I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen (even when I have bedhead and pillow creases on my face). 

Throughout all the fights and the bickering, throughout all the threats of separation and divorce....I have loved him.  Throughout all the laughter and the happiness, throughout the evenings spent on the couch wrapped in each others arms...I have loved him.  Throughout the deployments, the TDY's, the schools and the academies...I have loved him.  I've never stopped.

I think that the thing that really brought home to me just how much I loved him was when I was sure that I was going to die.  As I sat with a broken body in a broken truck, hands shaking so badly that I couldn't dial his number properly, all I could think of was that I had to call him to tell him how much I loved him before I had to say goodbye...forever.  The feeling of sadness was so overwhelming, so consuming.....it was then that any and all doubt that I might have had about whether we were really meant to be together was banished.  I KNEW.

And I still know.  I may need the occasional reminder; I tend to get a little absorbed in the day-to-day stuff sometimes ....but in my heart of hearts, I still know.  We are just meant to be.  That's all there is to it.  We are simply meant to be together.

I believe in reincarnation.  I think that some souls are destined to be together, and will seek each other out throughout the many lifetimes that we experience and sometimes endure.  I think that we (Dave and I) are two of those souls.  I think that we've known each other before, and that we will, after this life has ended, know each other again.  And, when our time on this karmic wheel has come to an end, our souls will go on to.....well, I'm not sure what.  All I know is that we'll be together.

And that's all I need to know.

Dave, I love you. Thank you.  For putting up with me, for helping me stand when I feel like falling down, for being my eyes when I'm too blind to see stuff in front of my face, for being my voice when I'm unable to speak...for seeing me for who I really am, flaws and furies and all - and loving me anyway. 

Always, Graich.  Always.


Comments
on Jan 20, 2006
Very nice tribute to your marriage.

May your next twelve be full of wonder and love.
on Jan 20, 2006
Nice. Nothing more to add to that.
on Jan 20, 2006
So very beautiful.....

I read it and weep, and miss my first husband..

over and over

lovely Dharma
on Jan 20, 2006
Congratulations on 12 hard earned years of happily ever after. Time sure flies doesn't it? Brad and I will have our 12th in May. Sometimes I feel like I can't remember life before him and other times I still feel like a newly wed.

You guys appreciate each other and what you have together. That is the kind of love and friendship that can endure anything.

Best wishes.
on Jan 21, 2006
Congrats. you are wonderful.
on Jan 21, 2006
Beautiful, just beautiful. Happy Anniversery to you and your One.
on Jan 21, 2006
You were married on my birthday...the day I turned fifteen.

It seems that you two have such a passionate relationship. The highest compliment I can pay you, I think, is that I think you two are setting such a terrific example for your children. They are learning what marriage can be and what it can endure.

Congratulations. I hope you two have a memorable day.
on Jan 21, 2006

May your next twelve be full of wonder and love

Thanks...and I hope so too.

Nice. Nothing more to add to that

Thanks, Shovel. 

 

I read it and weep, and miss my first husband..

Aww, Trudy!  I'm sorry.  I know how you must feel....I miss Dave every time he deploys.

Time sure flies doesn't it?

Oh yeah it does!  It sometimes seems like just yesterday that we were living in England and expecting Davey!

You guys appreciate each other and what you have together. That is the kind of love and friendship that can endure anything

I think so too.  It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.

 

Congrats. you are wonderful

Thank you....and we think you two are pretty wonderful too.

 

 

Happy Anniversery to you and your One

Thank you!

The highest compliment I can pay you, I think, is that I think you two are setting such a terrific example for your children. They are learning what marriage can be and what it can endure.

Wow....thank you!  I hope that we are.  I hope that one day our kids will understand why we stay together....and will look to our marriage as an inspiration for their own. 

I look to my parent's marriage and my grandparents marriage as inspiration for my own.  They both lived through some pretty hard times...my grandparents lived through 2 world wars where food was rationed, and my grandfather was just a farm hand - so money was always tight for them.  They bickered all the time, but that was just how they were.  They really did love each other, and my grandfather died of a broken heart 13 months after my grandmother passed away. 

Now my dad is coming to the end of his days, and I worry about how my mum will manage without him.  They've been together so long.....I don't think she'll know what to do without him.  They bicker constantly too, but underneath that is a love so strong that they've made it through some situations that would have destroyed some marriages.

I use those fours people and their relationships as inspiration for my own.  For us, divorce is simply not an option.  We'd only regret it and end up getting remarried anyway, so we're saving ourselves some time and money but toughing it out.

on Jan 21, 2006
What a beautiful tribute!  May God or the Oversoul bless and keep you both!
on Jan 22, 2006
Happy Anniversary, K! Keep on Keepin' on....you two truly have someting special.
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