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Published on August 11, 2004 By dharmagrl In Religion

Before I get into this, let me lay down some ground rules...I know that child abuse is not limited to religious circles.  This article is in no way meant as an attack on organized religion...this is just an account of a nasty case we had in my community a couple of years ago.  I was reminded of this case as a result of a conversation I had over on Cornbread's 'Gay what???' thread. As always, I welcome responses and comments, but be warned that I will not tolerate attitudes such as 'well, your religion does worse things than mine', or 'Dharma's christian bashing again, that's par for the course'.  My creator and I are on speaking terms again for the first time in years, so don't even go there....

In 2002 we had a child abuse case surface here that horrified a lot of people.  Not because what was done to the child involved was particularly depraved, more because of what it was done in the name of.

One rainy afternoon, a young boy wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and a pair of roller blades (minus the fabric inserts) was seen wandering the streets of military housing.  The police were called, and when they responded they found this kid crouched at the end of someone's driveway, crying.  They picked him up, asked him what was going on and after a few seconds realized that if what he was telling them was true it was not in his best interests to return him to the familial home - so they took him to the Law Enforcement facility and got the rest of his story there.

He was 12.  He had been adopted  2 years before, by a military couple.  Prior to his adoption, he had been living on the streets of London, England.  The family that adopted him were uber religious Southern Baptists, and it was hoped that some of their values would rub off on this kid and he'd straighten himself out.

He said the abuse started about a year after he went to live with them.  They started locking him in a linen closet for punishment when he misbehaved, but after a while it became a routine thing. He was in the closet 23 hours out of a 24 hour day, 7 days a week.  He wasn't allowed to come out for meals, he wasn't even allowed to eat the same food as the rest of the family.  Every couple of days, the father would throw a half a loaf of bread and a couple of dollops of peanut butter in the closet for the kid to eat. 

 Once a day, for an hour, he would remove the child from the closet, take him to the basement, have him lay face down on the floor, and would lay a piece of 2 by 4 on the back of his head and one on the back of his legs so he could tell if the kid moved from the position he had told him to assume (he'd hear the wood fall onto the concrete basement floor) - the the dad would go upstairs and watch TV for the remainder of the hour. He call it 'stretching out'...his twisted version of 'exercise'. When the time was up, the kid would be returned to the closet.  The father would shut the door, lock it, and hang a tin can from the doorknob so he'd be able to hear if the boy tried to open the door.  On the rare occasions that the child tried to get out, the father heard, and the kid was beaten with a paddle and a belt. They were home schooled, so he didn't have the opportunity to tell a teacher or principal what was going on.  Nobody saw that child for months at a time.

Occasionally the father would take him out of the closet for some fatherly advice sessions.  He'd take the boy down into the basement and blindfold him.  The he'd spread thumbtacks, pointy side up, over the floor, and clear a narrow path through them.  He'd start the boy at one end of the path, still blindfolded, and tell him that if he followed his vocal instructions exactly, stepped exactly where he told him to, then he wouldn't get hurt.  The lesson is all this was Proverbs 3 : 5-6.  'trust in the lord with all your heart, and lean not into thy own undertstanding.  In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall make thy paths straight'.  The kid was to trust his earthly father, and he would make his path through the field of thumbtacks straight.

The father in all of this was pulled in for questioning, as was the mother, and the boy and his sister were removed from the home and placed in the care of DSS.  The father didn't understand what all the fuss was about; he was a "god fearing christian man" and he was only discplining his child the way he felt the bible told him to (I haven't managed to find the part of the bible where it says it's ok to lock your kid in a closet and toss food at them every few days)

The mother said that she was a righteous woman too, and that she hadn't come forward because her husband "had dominion" in their house.  To come forward and tell about the things that he had been doing would have been just as bad as adultery in her eyes.

So, they were both detained, and a hearing was set for 2 days later.  At the hearing, bail was set at $45,000 per person.  Guess who bailed them out?  Their church.  The church, in a public statement (the media had got wind of this case by then and was all over the story) said that they stood behind the man, the woman and their actions 100%, and that if perhaps more people raised the families this way we wouldn't have such horrible social and economic issues.  It left a lot of us in the community wondering if the pastor and the church members knew the whole story - and wondering how in hades they could condone such behaviour and activity if they did.  It's one thing to minister to one of your parishoners whilst they're incarcerated; to forgive them for their actions...but to 'fess up almost a hundred grand to bail someone out, and then to claim publicly that they had done nothing wrong?  It beggared belief.

At trial, it all came out.  The boy in the family wasn't the only one being abused, the wife and daughter were as well.  The wife, once separated from her husband, became emboldened, and spoke out about the other things that happened in the home.  The son wasn't the only one getting the buckle end of the belt, let's put it that way.

The man was sentenced to 6 years in the state penitentiary, was given a dishonorable discharge and forfeited all his pay and allowances for his remaining time in service.  The woman was given probation, but was awarded custody of her daughter.  The son was placed with a foster family who one day hoped to adopt him.

I guess that my point in relating this to you is, as I said in the beginning, to emphasize not only how people can twist the words of the bible to fit their own needs, but to show how far people will go in an effort to please their god.  I'm not saying that christianity has sole rights to that claim; far from it: one only has to look at the current state of affairs in the middle east to see that christianity in the US is very 'vanilla' and tame compared to Islam...but we in the west pride ourselves on being civilised.  I don't see anything civilised about abusing your child because your church encourages you to do so.


Comments (Page 2)
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on Aug 11, 2004
It's JMHO, Karen, but any "church" that condones that sort of behavior....heck, that apparently ENCOURAGED it...is not one that is standing on the teachings of Christ, no matter what they claim. 
on Aug 11, 2004

I have yet to meet somebody that believes that eternal misery is their only future.

I have.  Met someone who thinks that way, I mean. 

 

on Aug 11, 2004
Err... How long did it take you to key that?
on Aug 11, 2004

Err... How long did it take you to key that?

Hotmiami, welcome to my blacklist.  Way to make yourself known to the blogging community, asshat.

on Aug 11, 2004
Wow, that's really awful. Respecting your right believe as you wish, but also being a Christian (if a rather poor one), I wonder if Mr. Church had read Ephesians 6: 4 where it reminds fathers not to provoke their children? People do sick things.
on Aug 11, 2004

I wonder if Mr. Church had read Ephesians 6: 4 where it reminds fathers not to provoke their children?


No, I think he glossed over that...along with a ton of other scripture that wasn't relevant to his cause or condoned his actions.


To be honest, Wahine, I'm not sure what I believe any more.  I have met some outstanding Christian people here (yourself included) who have totally blown away my pre-conceived notions of christianity and it's followers.  I'm warming up to the idea again....


..but I have to say that for every awesome christian I have met I have met an equal amount of those who spew forth scripture and dogma without really knowing what it means. That's what my preconceived notion of christianity was, and is to an extent.  Those people just reinforce that.

on Aug 11, 2004
Dharmagrl: I understand what you are saying completely. There's so much I have yet to figure out. I just feel like I need to believe in something bigger and better than myself.

You have to know, though, that I have times of mad doubting.

My take on it is that we are all in this together, just trying to find a way, and I do believe that we each have to find our own way. I don't see how I can go about preaching and telling others to get their acts together when I can't even do that for myself. I'm just chuggin' along, trying to find my way.

BTW - I can't take that holier-than-thou, hateful crap they put out, either.
on Aug 11, 2004

I'm just chuggin' along, trying to find my way.


That's exactly what I'm doing.  Instead of worrying about where I'm going to go after I die, I'm trying to concentrate on today, on now.  On being the best person I can be, daily. 


I'm going to bed now, I'm beat.  I'm going to go read 'Friendships with god' and see if I can't rekindle mine a little.

on Aug 11, 2004
Sweet dreams, Dharmagrl.
on Aug 11, 2004
Given a large enough text to search from, you can find pretty much anything you want. Your birthday, the Doomsday, messages from God telling you to nearly kill your family. By changing the search algorithm, you can find anything you want, not to mention ignore anything you don't like or agree with.

But, this guy might not be the one "finding" this stuff. He might just be a spineless sheep, content to abuse his family and get away with it "Because God told me to."

At any rate, I hope he enjoys his new "relationship" with his cellmate, "Bubba."
on Aug 12, 2004

I have. Met someone who thinks that way, I mean.


Can you provide an example? The closest thing I've found is somebody suicidal who believes they'll go to Hell for killing themself, but even they believe Hell has to better than what they're going through in the real world. Otherwise, why would they want to go to some place worse?


At any rate, I hope he enjoys his new "relationship" with his cellmate, "Bubba."


Here's a serious question. I ask this because people in the past have thought I was a monster for wishing rape on others. Is it all right to wish rape on others nowadays?

on Aug 12, 2004

Can you provide an example?


My husband was the NCO In Charge of the confinement facility on base for 3 years.  During that time he had an inmate who was incarcerated for statutory rape and child molestation (He had been having sex with his 11 year old step daughter). He was getting transferred to Ft Leavenworth, the military brig, and he had a sentence of 35 years (he was 40 at the time).  He knew he was going to serve at least 20, which would make him 60 by the time he got out.  He knew that once he did get out he's be on the sex offernders registry.  This guy had that attitude.  He thought that his life was going to be hell at Leavenworth (he was probably right), it was going to be hell when he got out, and that his only alternative was suicide.  He didn't want to kill himself, he said that he deserved to be miserable for what he did to his victim.  He also said he didn't want to be forgiven, either by god or by man.


Here's a serious question. I ask this because people in the past have thought I was a monster for wishing rape on others. Is it all right to wish rape on others nowadays?


I've been accused of the same thing, when I said that I wanted pedohiles to be punished to the full extent of the law and to have to spend the rest of their lives living in a cell with a roomie named 'bubba'.  I don't think that Zweihandler or I are wishing rape on anyone...I think that we're simply trying to express that we want the perpetrator's life to be as miserable and painful as they made the lives of their victims.



 

on Aug 12, 2004
It sounds like a page from an Andrew Vachss book.
Sorry this scumbag only got 6 years.

Thought he could make a heathen street child a "Good Christian". I know of some like that who end up shot by their kids, And I don't think
I would vote to convict this guy's kids if they had shot him.
on Aug 12, 2004

And I don't think
I would vote to convict this guy's kids if they had shot him.

Neither would I.  I kept (keep) thinking of that poor boy.  He'd had a hard enough life as it was, then along comes this family - and he ends up in a worse situation than when he was living on the streets.

I look at my kids, and I simply cannot fathom how anyone could do that to a child.  yes, I yell at mine.  Yes, they aggrivate the heck out of me, and yes, I come close to losing my temper with them sometimes.  But...I could never, ever, lock them in a closet and ignore them.  I couldn't do that to ANY kid.

on Aug 12, 2004
OK, a little off topic, but related.

This is one of the things I found so appalling about the Yates case. I truly believe, from what I have seen and read, that if Russell Yates had been the husband he should have been (supporting his wife, changing diapers, helping with the kids' schoolwork, etc), then that horrible tragedy could have been avoided. Russell Yates is, in my opinion, the guilty one in that case, not Andrea. I believe she was truly insane in every sense of the word; Russell, however, was the one who drove her past the breaking point.

As a homeschool lecturer, I come down rather hard on fathers who give the response: "I don't know what my kids are studying. My wife takes care of that" (sadly, a common response). A husband needs to SUPPORT his wife in every way; this includes giving her a "day off" from time to time.

Rant finished. Here's yer thread back, dharma...lol
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