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Published on September 24, 2007 By dharmagrl In Parenting

My daughter is in love.

She's been 'going out' with this boy for almost 2 months now (which, as you may know if you've got teenagers of your own, is quite a long time!).  They met over three years ago and have been friends the entire time, but his parents moved to a different school district shortly after that and they didn't get to see each other every day anymore. They did, however, keep in touch via the internet , phone calls and the occasional meeting, but there wasn't any spark of romance there that I could see.

Apparently the sparks flew when they and a whole bunch of other kids hung out together at the Homecoming football game, and by the time Shea came home that evening, Jake (not our Jake) was her boyfriend.

He's a nice boy.  He has a job, a car that his folks gave him but that he has to maintain the insurance on and buy his own gasoline for, and he's very respectful to both Shea and myself.  They talk either via the phone or online every day, and he's coming to meet us this week.  I told him and Shea that I wouldn't let him take her out on a date until I'd met him - which I think is fair.  He's nervous about meeting me, and I told him he was being silly; that he shouldn't be afraid of me  "Shea's dad, though...that's a different matter". I was kidding, of course, and I told him so, but I think he's still scared to meet Dave.  

I asked Shea yesterday if she loved him, and she said "I think so, yeah".  I asked if he loved her, and she said that he tells her he does - and that hearing him say it makes her happy.  This is her first boyfriend, and I told her that she's chosen well - he's reliable, responsible, respectful, and he loves her.  I couldn't have chosen a nicer boy for her myself - and whilst I don't think that this is going to end in marriage or an unexpected pregnancy, it IS pretty cool to see Shea so happy.  She's stepping into her adult shoes, and although they're a little big yet, I can see the day coming when she'll fill those shoes completely and she'll use them to walk out of our house and into the big-wide-world.

My baby girl is growing up fast.


Comments
on Sep 24, 2007
Scary, isn't it?

It sounds like your actions are completely appropriate. I think it's totally normal for you to want to meet him first. And then you can give your approval.

But that doesn't make the prospect any less ambivalent.
on Sep 24, 2007
I was happy to see that you asked if she loves him and he loves her. So many people (me included) often poo poo other peoples love (Lucas) by saying it can't be real. BUT, at her age love has a totally different meaning and I think it's sweet. Love is pure and innocent and certainly not jaded at that age.

I don't know how you do it though. I envision myself handing the guys that ask my daughters out a bullet with his name engraved on it. Then letting him know that there is a whole box where that one came from.
on Sep 24, 2007
"See that shotgun, boy? If you hurt my little girl, well, I'm not afraid of going back to prison."
on Sep 24, 2007

Scary, isn't it?

Damn Straight! 

You are taking it well Dharma.  That is very good of you,and I am sure one day Shea will look up to you for your wisdom in this time.

on Sep 24, 2007
I still want to send my teenagers to you. It scares me what I'll do if this happens to my kids. I shouldn't say "if," I should say "when."

I'm just not good at this.

You're a good mom, K. You really are. I hope I can be like you if we have kids.
on Sep 25, 2007
My daughter is in love.


That "in love" thing seems to be going around, huh?

They did, however, keep in touch via the internet , phone calls


I envy the technology they have access to. Man, if I'd had texting and IMs and such back in '82....

I asked if he loved her, and she said that he tells her he does - and that hearing him say it makes her happy. 


Awwwwww.

on Sep 26, 2007

Scary, isn't it?

Yes!

at her age love has a totally different meaning and I think it's sweet. Love is pure and innocent and certainly not jaded at that age.

It's actually pretty moving to see her talk to him.  There aren't any expectations, see....he loves her, she loves him, and that's it.  There's no talk of marriage or any life-time commitments, they're just enjoying what they're feeling.  That, to me, is about perfect.

"See that shotgun, boy? If you hurt my little girl, well, I'm not afraid of going back to prison."

Nah, Dave's never been to prison.  He has run one, though.

 

You are taking it well Dharma

I'm trying.  It's not as easy as I make it seem!

I still want to send my teenagers to you. It scares me what I'll do if this happens to my kids. I shouldn't say "if," I should say "when."

I'm just not good at this

Yes you are.  You just don't know it yet.

That "in love" thing seems to be going around, huh?

Hehe....yeah, it does!

*Disclaimer for the dense*  Gene is NOT, I repeat NOT referring to me here.  He's NOT in love with me, and we AREN'T having an illicit cyber-affair.  Just wanted to make that clear. 

Awwwwww.

I know!

 

Reply By: little-whipPosted: Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's sweet, isn't it? 

on Sep 26, 2007
we AREN'T having an illicit cyber-affair.


Oh, that made it better!


I'm also NOT making torrid, passionate love to Jennifer Lopez while Marc Anthony sits in the corner weeping softly and sucking his thumb. I don't know if any of y'all thought that, either, but if you could get that rumor started I'd really appreciate it.


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